On Mother’s Day we receive affirmation (or not) on a job well done from our children , husbands , and even our own Moms.
It is the most difficult job there is to Mother children (true even though often said) , we are judged positively and negatively for our efforts by family , friends , and even society. So here are a couple of things to think about when we rate ourselves as Moms. It really is enough that you feel great about the job you did , and you should.
1. Children don’t come with instructions , but they do come with distinctions.
Every child is unique and born with many of the traits that play out through the rest of their lives. When we have babies and small children there is nothing like that rush of unconditional love you receive. It is the greatest high. We often give ourselves either too much credit or criticism for what we perceive as the outcome of our parental input. You may have an adult child who ends up your best friend and constant support system. You may end up with one who constantly harps on all the negatives , rewrites history , and goes to great lengths to try to make you feel bad about yourself. If you have one of the Children that seem to be there to tell you what a bad job you did , guess what , they are almost always wrong. Did you give it your all? Did you sacrifice emotion , health , time, and money? I am sure you did. We know in the business world you can have a lousy boss and still be doing excellence work. it is the same with children or even our spouses or own parents. Them not liking the way you did it , doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. We all know there are a million opinions out there.
2. You weren’t a perfect parent.
Being an imperfect parent is not a failure. Is every golf game great? Does one bad game or even twenty make a bad golfer? Do we have highs and lows in our careers? How about riding a bike perfectly 100 times then falling off? Doing some of the things wrong , needing improvement , in general making mistakes does not a failure make. It is called being human , learning , and growing. You give yourself a break in most other aspects of your life , give your Momness rating a handicap as well.
3. Love yourself first. Being a Mom is about sacrifice and is often a thankless task. Anyone can be a Mom , even a man (sorry guys , lol). And anyone can have children , even if it is an adorable dog or kittie. I mentor a lot and have several young women out there I feel parental to who are not even remotely related to me. Most of us have some kind of maternal instinct. Let us spend some of that maternal energy on ourselves.
Today is Mother’s Day , I hope you are lauded , applauded , and celebrated by all of those ‘children’ you invested so much of yourself into. But if not , it is enough to know that YOU feel YOU did well. So congratulate yourself Mom , you did great!
It is Sunday and Mother’s Day , may you take a moment of meditation and wash yourself in a wave of maternal love. Avoid the negative . “Cast not your pearls before swine”. Days are as rare and limited as pearls . Enjoy this pearl of a day.
Peggy Oberlin RID4986